Text By Jackie Glynn 

He asked the big question; he gave you a fabulous ring; and you said YES!  Now what? Unless you are a professional wedding planner, most brides have no experience planning an event as significant as a wedding.   There are websites, magazines, books, and many friends willing to give you great advice.  But where should you start?

 Below are seven secrets for planning your perfect wedding.

Which comes first:  date or location?
       
Most brides rush into setting a date.  Why? Because a date means it’s real!  However, once you choose a date, you are locked in, and you haven’t begun the search for a location.  Remember that fabulous historic hotel you read about?  Booked.  What about that fabulous mountain inn?  Also booked.  What about your own church?  Booked. 
Now what?  You’ll have to call everyone back and renegotiate a new date.

Avoid the frustration by choosing your location, finding their available dates and THEN call everyone to set the date.  After all, the location will ultimately be the key for your dream day, so choose your location FIRST and then base your date on their availability.

Take time to plan...and enjoy the process.

It is so easy to start doing--choosing a dress, calling your friends, visiting venues, choosing attendants--all without thinking about what you and your fiance really want for this special day.  Take time to dream first, and then get organized.  Discuss the “feel” or atmosphere you want:  Is it more important that your guests have fun, the venue is beautiful, the food is fabulous or the music is awesome?  Or all of the above?

Planning a wedding can be such a great way to get to know each other on a completely different level.  Enjoy discussions of weddings you have attended that you love, or identify details you choose to avoid!  Get a clear picture in your mind of what you both want and really think about your perfect day. 

Get help!
You’ve dreamed about this day most of your life and you know exactly what you want.  No one else can possibly see your vision.  However, if you try to do everything yourself, you may be so exhausted that you won’t enjoy the day you’ve dreamed about for so long.  With others to share part of the planning and doing, you and your fiancé will be able to focus on each other and the joy of pledging your love at your dream wedding.

Three ways to get help:
 1) Find a location that provides services as part of their package.   Some venues have comprehensive packages.  It usually seems expensive since it is one large price, but it often has everything you need bundled together.  These venues are always great deals since you won’t spend your valuable time calling and comparing and deciding.   

2) Hire a bridal consultant even if you think you can’t afford it.  Planners can often save you the cost of their fee in time and effort as well as giving you much needed help and advice.

3) Assign tasks to friends and family members who offer to help. They may not do things the way you would, but it might even be better!  The name of the game is d-e-l-e-g-a-t-e! 

Vendors are key partners; don’t skimp!
Choose your vendors carefully and always use professionals.  Today, with the quality of equipment, many people think they can print a business card and be a professional photographer, videographer, or DJ.  However, true professionals have spent much time learning their craft.  Never let someone talk you into using a friend of theirs as a vendor unless they are professional.  In the end, you won’t save money if the quality is poor!

In addition, choose only professionals for catering, flowers or cakes, not folks who work part-time, have a business “on the side” or want to give you an item for free.  Remember, you get what you pay for, so if you pay nothing, it is likely worth what you paid for it.   Experienced vendors have valuable expertise in not only the services they provide but also time management.
   
On a budget?
If you are watching costs, remember you will have to sacrifice something, so curb your early spending.  It’s the impulse spending that gets you in trouble.  Did you really need that doll with an exact replica of your wedding dress for $1000?  Or those adorable favors with your college alma mater and your wedding date logo for your guests at $10 each?

Want great ways to save money without sacrificing quality?
1) Choose an off season date or week night.  You may be able to negotiate excellent rates from locations and vendors. 

2) Trim your guest list. The more guests you have, the more you will spend, so examine your list.  Remove those high school friends you haven’t seen in ten years or work-related acquaintances you speak with but never meet for lunch.

3)  Reduce the amount of alcohol you provide.  Alcohol is the second most expensive cost for your reception.  Serve only wine and beer or close the bar during dinner and serve only wine; or, as more couples are doing, choose to have a “dry” wedding.   Meet your friends afterwards for a “party after the party” and let everyone buy their own drinks.  Sound stingy?  Remember your friends are coming to your wedding for you...not the alcohol!

 

Choose a theme.
The easiest way to create a dream wedding is to choose a theme or motif.  You can then coordinate your decorations, favors, flowers, dresses and menus based on your idea.  Your theme can be as simple as a color or a monogram, or as elaborate as a “renaissance” wedding.  A theme can turn a wedding into an extraordinary event, a special memory for you and your guests.  Think in terms of romantic, historical, whimsical, casual, or “posh.” 
Once the theme is set, every decision becomes easy for you.

Relax...this can actually be fun!
You’re getting married and it’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life.  Yet planning a wedding is actually like working a second job.   Somehow, you have to find time in your already overloaded schedule to handle a multitude of details, manage vendors, referee family anxieties and demands, attend to your groom, and cope with your own mercurial emotions. 

When you feel your stress building, take time to do something to relax, preferably a non-wedding activity.  Go for a walk; get a manicure; get a massage; take a nap; or hide in a theater watching the latest movie. 

Finally, be aware of your thinking and speech patterns.  What you focus on has a tendency to expand, so if you continually talk about how stressed you are, you will continue to be stressed.  Instead of saying “I am so stressed,” say “I am so excited!”  You will be surprised at how quickly your whole attitude will change!